Western zen

I’m not big on new year’s resolutions. Like so many others, I’ve never been successful at keeping them for longer than a couple of weeks, if I ever even get started with them in the first place. I must admit, though, there is a positive feel to ending a year with the hope of putting some poor habits aside in the attempt of doing life better.

For me this year, there were two resolutions: first, in conjunction with the lovely Cindy Lou, we committed to working out three days a weeks at the rec center. Weight has something to do with this one, though both of us would feel better if we just got a bit more tone in our bodies. So far, pretty good. We’ve missed a few days, but we’re still on schedule. She likes the walking machines, I’d prefer just walking the indoor track. We spend about one hour doing what we do, then get back to our regular business. I must admit, too, that like going to church, our rec center visits have the potential of broadening the ground we share and deepening our relationship. Besides, we’re having some fun together.

My second new year’s resolution was a more personal thing. Many moons ago a counselor suggested I try reading Jon Kabat-Zinn’s zen masterpiece, Wherever You Go, There You Are. Steven offered that some of my angst with living might be alleviated by being more zen and practicing mindfulness. That was Kabat-Zinn’s mantra: practice regular meditation, and in so doing, the power of the universe can be better realized in our own lives.

I tried the meditation road for a while, but I could not stay with it. I liked the quiet sit, but I could never quite figure out where it fit into my day. Morning would be best, of course, but then there is the daily walk I’m supposed to take (that was another morning resolution from long ago), the daily newspaper to read, and the myriad other things that retired folk find on their calendar. Still, I thought taking on a short chapter from Kabat-Zinn’s book every day might get me back into a deeper spiritual track.

I am still hopeful, but when I just now picked up my copy to scan for the graphic included above, it was the first time I touched the book in 2010. A new year’s resolution failure already by January 12? Maybe, but I know Kabat-Zinn is there when I need him. And to be honest, I do feel that I’m pretty mindful in my life. Whatever I’m doing, I do try to be present with it. I haven’t missed any weekly blogs this year yet. That’s good. And when I’m in the kitchen, I love to get into food prep. And I’ve done a little bit of writing. So I think I’m pretty zen in some ways.

Still, my Western life style keeps me buzzing around pretty often and the zen of being still eludes me. And I guess that is the point of my blog today: I am weary of concluding for some time now that by living the natural lifestyle of mid-America, I am somehow missing the deeper truths of life and the universe offered by Eastern zen philosophers.

So instead of feeling guilty for already giving up on Wherever You Go..., I feel a bit more comfortable today just believing that life is as it should be and I’m making way honestly and authentically. I’m no lazy bum and I try to be aware of what’s going on around me, whether that’s nature- or people-based. I guess I want to think that what I’m doing is good enough. Not that I don’t have more to learn. It’s just that feeling like I’m missing the philosophical boat every day -- that isn’t a natural part of my Western thinking -- leaves me with way too familiar feelings of guilt. Rather not go there if I don’t have to.

I think I know that living a mindful life might look different to different people. If the truth be told, I’m pretty happy with mine the way it is.

Still, I’d recommend Wherever You Go, There You Are. Good stuff to fold into living.

Today’s elder idea: To allow ourselves to be truly in touch with where we already are, no matter where that is, we have got to pause in our experience long enough to let the present moment sink in; long enough to actually feel the present moment, to see it in it fullness, to hold it in awareness and thereby come to know and understand it better.

Jon Kabat-Zinn

from Wherever You Go, There You Are